"It's your heart, not the dictionary that gives meaning to your words." - Eugene Peterson
There is a campaign to end the use of the R word when it is at the expense of people with intellectual disabilities. Some argue that using words such as lame, retarded, dumb, idiot used in context of comparing a not-so-smart action to that of intellectually challenged individuals is another attempt by politically correct people to sanitize the English lexicon to exclude any and all forms of offensive language against vulnerable groups. I personally don't care for people using that word in any context. When the geneticist was giving us L's diagnosis, she purposely omitted the words "mentally retarded" written on the diagnosis form. These words are so pervasive in our culture and when I reflect back on all the comedies I've seen, it seems like a laugh at the expense of intellectually delayed people. Forest Gump, Dumb and Dumber come to mind right away. But, I enjoyed both movies immensely. People always seem to get a laugh at someone who is not the brightest and doing things that are not the best and smartest choices. Why is that? Perhaps, it shines a light on our own imperfection and we let out a "shadow laugh", as the late Debbie Ford would say. Do they feel such a condition is so removed from their own identity that they feel somehow superior? Life is so fragile and in one split second, with one car accident or a traumatic fall, they or their loved ones, too, could meet a similar fate.
Here is another controversial scene that gave us the meme, 'You never go full retard".
I remember a doctor on the hospital unit where I used to work (before L came along) get frustrated with someone and he would say, Well, they are special... special needs more like it" At the time, I never really thought much of what he said or took offense, although I thought to myself that as a doctor, he should be more compassionate and not putting anyone down. But, it was just a passing thought and I didn't ruminate over it for hours on end at home. On a TV show, I heard a man describe his mother as being "special" then he reiterated that she isn't special special, just special. What the heck?! Last week, I was showing a new nurse on the floor how to program the timer on the vitals machine. She was having a bit of trouble getting the steps and she proceeded to say, "Oh, sorry... I'm Re----" Her words trailed off and she said instead."I'm special". Had I not a child with special needs, I would never have been bothered by her words. Who knows? Maybe I would have used such words myself! But, this time, I felt my body just freeze as if all the blood just left my body. And, I didn't know how to respond. Are put downs said so unconsciously just a part of the acceptable lexicon of everyday conversation? It was probably a teachable moment but we were in a patient's room in the middle of the night trying to stay afloat with all our tasks. I am sure she has no idea L has a condition. Does replacing the word "retarded" with "special "somehow change her attitude and belief about the intrinsic value and worth of intellectually disabled people? Does it make it more acceptable to say?? Physicians initially came up with "mental retardation" not as a put down or insult. It was objective terminology used to describe a condition. It is people who have twisted the words to become degrading. It is not the words that need to change, but it is people's hearts because without their hearts becoming more compassionate, any word used, be it retarded or special, will sound offensive.
It is said that the disabled community is the most discriminated out of all minority groups. And yet, the US is the envy of the world in how it treats the disabled. Things like handicap ramps and handicap accessible bathrooms are nowhere to be found in most parts of the world. I remember while I was living in Korea for two years, I had asked a university student what she admires most about the US and she replied that she mostly admires how it treats handicapped people and that the collective attitudes towards disabled people is so much more compassionate and accepting than it is in Korea. Things may not be perfect but I think Americans do have a tolerance and acceptance that is not matched in most parts of the world (except the Netherlands, I hear it is the best place to live if one has a disability). I think that due to living in a pleuralistic society with such diverse groups, people have to be accepting of differences; otherwise, it would become so violent and unbearable! Our collective consciousness is still evolving and growing for the better and without awareness and exposure to neurodiverse populations, most people would be clueless - which is why people like L are such important members of society. L is here to teach and help people recognize and experience their own compassionate heart. And, what a gift that is to the world!
Here is an interesting blog about the same topic http://www.twothirdsoftheplanet.com/politically-correct-disability-words-whats-right-star-trek-gifs/
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