Flip Side: A 5 week Bible Study for Parents of Special Needs Children.

I suppose my hours and hours of Facebook surfing has not totally been a waste of time as I have found a very useful 5 week bible study for parents of special needs children. Thank God Gabriel increased our data plan from Charter, our cable company and also increased our data on the cell phone.  I have been going over the limit every month! Today is the fourth day of the study and I already have so many good questions to ponder that bring meaning into my life as a special needs parent.  So this is how it work: everyday, a series of questions are presented (on a Facebook group page and via email) to the participants and we are welcome to answer them on the Flip Side Facebook page or just reflect on them for our own eyes.  I have shared a few answers and have found other people's responses helpful in gaining a better perspective in my own situation.  I will share the questions and my answers in this blog as a record of the study.

Week 1 (Tuesday Sept.23, 2014):

1. Have you ever known of two people who experienced almost the same situation but have totally different perspectives on the situation? Why do you think this happens?

2. In looking at your life, are you tempted to have a "pity party"? What are the main things that cause you to want to have a "pity party"?

3. What do you think about this quote from Charles Swindoll? "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."

My response:

I think some people are better prepared to handle life's difficulties because they have a deeper spiritual maturity and understanding and these are tools that keep them from falling into a hopeless abyss. Granted, some have more support and resources than others, I have seen people handle tragedies with amazing grace and I have others lash out and show the worst in themselves because they are hurt. Joining studies like this is a step I take to develop my spiritual maturity so that I may be buffered from whatever may come. Yes, I have had pity parties usually when I compare my life to those ":others" who seem so much more blessed than me. Or, when I reflect back on all the negative things that have happened to me in the past and wonder, why do I need to carry more ? My yoke is not light. But, I realize that we all suffer in our own way in life - to live is Christ and we all carry our cross.

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WeeK 1 Wed. Sept 24, 2014 - My birthday!

1. If someone asked you to describe your life what would you say? Would you portray your life raising a child with special needs in a positive or negative way?

2. If the world were to describe your life, what kind of words would they use? How do you think God would describe your life?

3. How does the world's perception differ from God's perception?

If you tend to be more on the negative side, start praying and asking God to help you see your life and the situations you face through His eyes and perception.

My response:

1. If God came and told me He will take away Luki's condition today, I will take it in a heartbeat. The negatives of raising a special needs child is the constant dull background pain in my heart that he will never able to fully be independant and exercise free will in how he wants his life to progress. A positive is that he is in my life and I love being in his company. 2. I think the world would describe my life perhaps with some pity.I think God would consider my life with honor and gratitude for helping Him raise a very special soul in this world who has a very special mission and purpose-far more unique but no less important than others. 3. The world sees flashing lights and glittery gold as the end all be all, God sees dirt as an agent to make the blind see. I want to believe that my son is akin to the dirt in Jesus hand that can make the whole world see His Glory

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Week 1 Sept. 25, 2014

What am I thankful for?

I am thankful firstly for the spiritual path I have decided to tread in this life.  It has brought me so much clarity, peace, understanding and joy knowing that I am loved by Love itself, my soul is eternal and this life ain't everything. 

 I am grateful that a loving God has chosen to reveal these truths into my heart and I cherish it with all my heart; It is as essential as the air I breathe.

 Secondly, I am grateful for the love and support of such a wonderful man that is my husband.  I am blessed to walk this path with him and share his child-like simplicity in approaching life.  He reminds me of the happy times of my childhood and makes me feel so young at heart.  

I am grateful for the soul of my son who has chosen a very challenging physical presence on Earth.  I believe God gives free will even before our birth, in heaven, and when God asked for volunteers in heaven for a very special yet challenging mission on Earth of promoting deeper acceptance and unconditional love, my son's soul raised his hand and said,"I will go" while other more timid souls could not honor such a difficult request.  For that, I honor my son's spirit in making the choice for such a life.  Truly, he is a far more advanced soul than as acknowledged in this world.   

I am grateful for the community of like-minded special needs parents  to commiserate, share, cry, laugh, rejoice, grow and learn on this very special journey.  Whether they remember or acknowledge it, just as my son said "yes" to God's request, I believe parents of special needs children also said "yes" to God to be guardians of these souls working out their salvation in the most unique way.  Some parents would say, "I didn't sign up for this!" I believe that their spirit chose it before they came to be - God gives free will but I think there is more free will in heaven than on earth.  

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Week 1 Sept 26, 2014 Friday

1. How can our attitudes affect our perception of the situations we have raising a child with special needs?

2. How is your perception shaped by your environment and the people surrounding you?

3. How do our childhood experiences shape our perceptions as adults?

4. How does your attitude shape the perceptions of those around you?

These questions remind me of a quote: 

"Most people think happiness is about gaining something but it's not, it's all about getting rid of the darkness you accumulate". - Carolyn Crane

Attitude is everything. Attitude can be influenced by biochemical imbalances, temperament, stress level, exposure to constant negativity, I need to be very cautious that these are not off balance for too long. We all need positive guidance and exposure to have a positive attitude.  When I was younger, I didn't  realize this and blindly lived through life absorbing everything around me, be it good or bad, without question. Now, I first analyze how something - be it a situation, a person, an image makes me feel.  If they don't fill be with loving and peaceful thoughts, then I am cautious of accepting and absorbing them into my life. I've come to realize that God gave me emotions as a barometer of how I am faring and rather than hiding, denying and minimizing my feelings, I have learned to listen to them as a God given guide in steering away from harm and negativity.  This was learned later in life and I wish I had discovered this strategy when younger, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and frustration.