Tuesday, November 24, 2015

End of Year Progress Report

As 2015 fades into memory and we welcome 2016, I reflect on how far Luki has come in his progress and in meeting some long-awaited milestones.  The end goal happened so gradually that it is easy to miss without actually seeing the stark contrast from the beginning to end, as seen below. I can still hear the echo of the geneticist saying he may never walk and never talk when we first got his diagonsis 3 years ago.  And it was hard to believe he ever would walk back when we were taking him for physical therapy three times a week in his dafo leg braces, spio vest, knee pads and a rifkin walker. 
2013 versus 2015.  What a difference!  I won't be limited in my thinking on what he can achieve anymore.  He is a late bloomer of a sort but nonetheless, he has reached milestones which seemed almost impossible two years ago. 
 

PT session 2013

Walking in the mall with his rifkin walker 2013




2015: Oh my how he can run! It's hard for me to keep up with him!


Gabe says this is his dance to chase away bad spirits. I think it is just so adorable! This little twurling toy has become one of his favorites.  It has been a good therapy tool as well.  He can independantly twurl it really fast which I never thought he would ever be able to do.  What would we ever have done without Gloria, his nanny, who bought this from Mexico as a souvenir.  It goes to show that we don't necessarily need expensive "therapy" toys and equipment for improved development. Now he want to twurl everything he can be it his sippy cup, spoon, fork, pen, etc...



Now, it is only a matter of time before he starts to speak.  I noticed new inflections in the sounds he makes. Gabe's mom thinks by 5 he will start to talk.  I am not setting any time line for this.  The lesson I have learned is that setting a timeline only leads to frustrations.  But oh, how wonderful it would be to hear him say mommy. I dreamt he was whining about something he didn't like and he was using his words to express his disappointment.

In December, we took Luki to the snow at Mt. Baldy.  We needed to get on a 10 minute ski lift to get to the snow and tube riding area.  I'm so glad he remained so zen through the ride but I think it was probably the most nerve racking ride for Gabriel.    


We also went to Disneyland two days after Christmas.  Lucas was just enchanted with the Christmas parade and all the lights and decorations throughout the park set up for the holidays. 

Luki got to participate in the children's ministry Christmas performance for the congregation.  He didn't sing but he didn't throw a tantum or have a meltdown, either.  He remained so calm and I am grateful he was given a chance to at least just stand there and be a part of the group.
We visited Adventure City near Knott's Berry Farm.  Gabe learned from a coworker that it is a cheaper alternative to Disneyland for the little ones.  No long lines and no expensive entry fee.  He had opportunities to ride all the rides as many times as he wanted.  The next day, Gabe pouted that he wanted to go to Disneyland. So we went.


Friday, October 9, 2015

"Early Intervention is Best!"....So They Say..

Two weeks ago, I had a horrible head cold, the worst I have ever had.  I had an ear infection, pink eye and a painful sore throat and felt like a bobble-headed zombie.  Failing to realize the severity of my symptoms, I drove myself to work and endured the concerns and somewhat antagonistic ("why is she at work if she is sick?") glares of my coworkers and decided to get myself to the ER after 4 hours of being on the floor.  Ten days of amoxicillin and 7 days of oxyfloxacin eye drops have done wonders for me, although I still have a nagging cough.  I have not taken antibiotics in over 15 years nor have I gotten this sick for the same amount of time. I have always tried to give my body a fighting chance and have taken natural remedies like manuka honey. I think I just willed myself to be healthy and took good care of myself with plenty of rest, good nutrition, supplementation and a positive outlook on life.   This time, I knew that that was not going to be enough to get me back to health or at least, not fast enough as needed to be in commission as a mom for Lucas. Being sick has also made me painfully realize my own limitations as a parent of a special needs child and I have had to accept the fact that I am not superwoman, especially when physically weak and sick.  Not being able to do the usual things for his care, being in pain and feeling fatigue made me even  more depressed and sad. It also brought me to the sorrowful realization of my own mortality and a deeper concern for Lucas' care in the future.

What broke the lucky track record of health?  As much as I hate to say it, I think it has much to do with stress and not taking care of myself as before due to the growing care demands needed by Lucas.  It's really not his fault but my own lack of discipline in managing my needs along with his.  Recently, I have had to really come to a decision about whether to proceed with the in-home therapies (ABA) he receives and it have caused immense stress that has led me to, on some days, forget to eat or sleep enough and stay in a funk all day.  We have continued ABA for over two years and it is hard on me as well as on Lucas as I, as a parent, also need to be trained in the method.  I am not satisfied with the outcome we have thus far obtained for the amount of time, effort and stress we have invested in it; let alone my growing dislike and distrust for the supervisor (see previous blogs).  Lucas still shows no form of communication, PECS has not really helped in any aspect of daily life and he still is unable to feed himself with utensils or drink from a cup without assistance.  These issues are innate problems in neural circuitry and until his brain develops to a certain cognitive level, no amount of ABA is ever going to make life easier or better for him.  This is the conclusion I have drawn and I don't care how many experts hail the "early intervention is best" mantra, it just isn't right for Lucas, yet.  I have had this gut instinct from the beginning but have pushed it aside thinking the experts know best.  Now, I find that some experts like Dr. Connie Kasari of UCLA also feel some subpopulations of autists such as Dup15q may not quite benefit with early intervention. I kick myself now for not listening to my instinct.

It's been two weeks since we stopped ABA and it has been so liberating.  Lucas seems more content and peaceful.  Perhaps, in the near future we will resume the sessions, this time with a new supervisor.  Maybe that will make all the difference.

Having a child with special needs (actually having a child period) makes watching the sickness of the world so much harder to accept than before I became a parent.  Sickness such as random violence, war crimes, domestic violence, child porn, ecologic pollution from greed, cruelty to animals, children or anyone weak and disenfranchised; man-made famines.... For each of these events, I see my son's face and it makes me sad, angry, worried and afraid.

On a brighter note, God continues to show mercy on humankind and sends beautiful souls into the world to change it for the better.  Here is a story of one such great soul who incarnates into the world in the weakest state to touch and change the hearts of so many.  I am humbled and inspired by souls like Margarite (and Lucas).  Click for Margarite's story.


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It is finally raining in SoCal and Lucas gets to wear his rain gear!




Friday, August 14, 2015

Our Annual August eekend Getaway Trip to Summer Inn, UCSB.

"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you". 
-The Chaos of Stars

I would choose you, Lucas, in any dimension of the universe, just as you are, I'd choose you.









Trinket souvenirs at Carrillo beach.




His first hike!







picture during his first hike

Luki by the lagoon


The harness helped him with his hike!

Prayer at the Labrynth

Breakfast at Carrillo Dining Commons




Luki enjoyed himself at the Carrillo Beach in downtown santa barbara.



A mothers prayer washed away into the great deep blue. God, hear my prayer


Nowhere else I'd rather be than in a tent by the beach watching the sunset,sipping wine and eating dinner with my hubby while Luki sleeps bundled up next to me. These memories will stay with me forever

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Swimming Progress Notes.: My "Cat Fish"

Luki has learned swimming faster than he has walking!

He has new underwater tricks, too!

Luki has met and exceeded his summer swimming goal of 2 feet!!



Sunday, August 2, 2015

World Games Special Olympics, autism study, Dup15q documentary

Dup15q Alliance funded a documentary about Luki's condition.  This short film explores the lives of three families differently affected by the syndrome.
Believe:Living with Dup15q Syndrome, a documentary

Luki made it on the local press!



He came dressed to swim and support swimmers - his favorite competition.  He also took a selfie and had Olympic skating gold medalist, Yuna Kim photobomb is picture.

We got so many goodies from all the sponsors and vendors at the World Games, USC.


I want to ‪#‎passtheflame‬ for inclusion, dignity and respect for all!‪#‎worldgames‬ ‪#‎specialolympics‬ . Luki's favorite sport! He came prepared to swim! My future Olympian ! @ USC uytengsuaquatics center


We participated in an autism clinical trial at UC Irvine with Dr. Gargus. 
He started off in a good mood.

He loved the swings at We Rock the Spectrum, Pasadena.

Making great progress with swimming!



His giggle attacks are what I live for. 





Summer Vacation 2015

This summer, we opted out of summer school to do home schooling and it has been the best decision.  I'm exhausted but Luki is having a great time and being exposed to a lot of activities we would otherwise not be able to do during school session due to the time constraints.  Lucas finally got to use his first suitcase for a family vacation up to Mammoth Lakes and Bishop.  Gabriel had to go up to Bishop to inspect the power stations near the dams  for a few days so we decided to tag along. Since the company is paying for room and board, it has been a very economical way to get our summer getaway trip done this year.


Although Lucas can't yet pull his own suitcase, he has enough clothes and toilettries that won't fit into my duffle bag anymore. For some reason, I get sentimental thinking about the fact that he has his own suitcase. It's almost as if he will one day leave me to go off to college or live on his own or maybe live in a group home.  Of course, that will never happen but the thought stirs up sentiments in the heart.  

Bishop was hot but the dry air made it tolerable, especially when under the shade.  Luki and I stayed close to the Holiday Inn we stayed in and waded in the indoor hotel pool or played in the park next to it.  


Luki got stuck after falling off his bicycle.  I let him figure out getting away on his own.  This bought me time to eat my sandwhich before I have to chase him around.  

The mountains were so beautiful all along our drive up to Mammoth.
It was like christmas all year round at Mammoth Village.
Bishop was hot as heck but it got a bit nippy up at Mammoth.
It rained on our way back home.  Good thing, because we are in a drought and we need it.  Hope the rain comes down to So Cal.

Our last lunch at a Mexican restaurant at Mammoth village.  A margarita for a fond farewell.
My first view of the Sierra Nevadas.  I only knew of them from the beer I see at Trader Joe's.

Mt. Whitney in the back- highest elevation in the US.  




Luki has reached his summer swimming goal of being under water for at least 5 seconds.  Our next goal is to swim at least two feet wearing an inflatable.  He has also progressed to riding faster horses.  I am hoping to get him started on hippotherapy this Fall.

Friday, July 3, 2015

IHSS-Protective Supervision, Is It Worth the Fight?




Last night after dinner, Gabriel, Lucas and I attended a free informational meeting by IHSS (In Home Supportive Services) advocates to learn more about what services we can receive for Lucas through this Department.  We were referred to this agency through our case manager at the Regional Center a few months ago.  Last week, we had an interview with a social worker from IHSS who deemed us eligible for $5,oo per month of diaper changing duties (see my previous post).  I thought it odd that such a ludicrous amount would be offered to us and thought it was some kind of joke, but after having attended this meeting, it all became clear why the department is so stingy with their allotments to families.

I had posted an inquiry about IHSS on a facebook support group page and found that two families are receiving the maximum allowable hours for their child.  One mom told me about the meeting last night and our family decided to attend and I am sooo glad we went.  I am thinking of re-opening our closed case with IHSS to get protective supervision which we seem to be eligible for (in my opinion) but several factors hold me back which I will get into detail below.  This mom used this advocacy group along with an attorney and was able to win the maximum hours for her 4 year old Down's Syndrome boy.  She said the winning argument was the fact that he keeps poking his eyes for which he had surgery and has a shunt. The other mom said she spent $5,000 in attorney fees and lost her case but still fought for it the following year and won all by herself.

Larry Rosen, an IHSS advocate, and a parent of a child with autism facilitated the discussion last night at Barbara Reilly Community Center in Downey.  He went over the nuts and bolts of IHSS and most importantly how Protective Supervision can benefit a family living with a child who has developmental delays and this is what he shared:

There are two kinds of waivers we can get from the Regional Center to help a family living with disability.  The first is the 6-0 waiver from SSI (otherwise known as the SSI waiver).,  The second waiver is what they call the "DD waiver" or 6V waiver from the Regional Center.  6-0 waiver is income based while families who do not qualify for it due to high income can apply for the 6V waiver.  The other difference between the two is that 6-0 waiver is not institutionally deeming while the 6-V is, which is to say that should anything happen to either parent, the child would qualify to be placed in an institution due to their disability.  Our family received the Medi-Cal waiver with institutional deeming which at the time we got it, thought little about how important it would be in our future.

In the brochure above, it states, " As a result of Protective Supervision, a parent receives an hourly wage to act as the child's stay-at-home caretaker".  As I interpret it, this is in compensation for the government not having to pay for a child in the care of a government institution, which was the norm in the past. The renowned author, Pearl Buck, had a daughter with an intellectual disability and she wrote a book about her experiences of reluctantly having to place her child in an institution.  This was the norm back then and most parents were encouraged to do so by their physicians.  Due to increasing parental wish to keep their children at home and integrate them into their local communities and send them to special needs program in their own school districts, most of them were closed down and the government offered to pay the families to be the caregivers instead of having to pay for staff in these cold and sterile institutions. Besides, the State is saving so much money if you consider they don't need to pay for doctors, nurses, therapists, administrators to run nursing homes, ancilliary staff etc but instead pay parents minimum wage to do all of those tasks.  I am so grateful we live in a country with such a wonderful social service available to the intellectually disabled community but last night's meeting made it clear that these benefits don't come by easily and we need to fight for everything as the government is wary of fraudulent claims.

Through the Community First Choice option, the minimum hours one can get through Protective Supervision is 195 hours which we get automatically if we qualify.  Next year, LA county will be paying $11.00 per hour for care giving cost which adds ups to about $26,000 a year.  The maximum amount including personal care costs for children with severe issues is 283 hours which equates to $36,000 per year.  To qualify, we must first have a "presumptive disability" such as a PPD-NOS, autism, down's, CP..The two parent rule states that at least one parent must be working part time or less.  Manual letter SS-15-01 defines what a full time parent is and there should be no assuming free full time care for a child - meaning, if the child is institutionally deemed, the government can't assume the family will give free care

During the interview with the social worker, it is important to have documented evidence of why a child needs Protective Supervision.  This could be safety goals set up in the IEP such as goals to stop biting the finger, measures to help with fall precautions, which we have already in his IEP.  Protective supervision is allotted only on the basis of dangerous behavior issues and not necessarily from a medical condition.  For example, the little boy who was poking is eyes that had a shunt was granted protective supervision because of his behavior of poking his eyes which could be dangerous but not necessarily because he had a eye shunt.  A child with epilepsy who falls frequently and injures himself may not qualify for benefits because it is a medical condition that poses a hazardous situation.  However, if a child repetitively bangs his head and displays other self injurious behaviors, he would qualify for benefits.   ABA goals to stop wandering such as the Stop/Go activity can also be helpful in our case.  SOC 821 is an Assessment and Mental Functioning IHSS provides our pediatrician to confirm safety risks.  Larry Rosen stated that the behavior must be "regular and random" and it is beneficial to keep a Dangerous Behavior Log to share with the social worker.  Once the case is approved, the family gets a Notice of Action which breaks down all the hours of total need for which most (from 195-283) come from Protective Supervision.

This all sound really wonderful to have and a part of me says fight for this since I am Luki's most important advocate.  But, the fact that IHSS gives such a hard time and is extremely strict on who gets payments makes me think twice about proceeding forward.  Not only that, but some families have stated that social workers have called upon Child Protective Services for kids who are extremely dangerous.  I do not want to have this organization involved in our family life at all (see previous blog on the corrupt nature of LA county's Child Protective Services). Once they get involved it can turn into a nightmare should they feel the child needs to be taken away and placed in foster care.  Larry said that once we explain that this is a special needs child, Child Protective Services usually backs away.

I have 90 days to appeal my closed case and the clock is ticking.  In the meantime, I will be compiling "evidence" of his dangerous behavior through is ABA and IEP goals.