The summer of my freshman year in college, my stepsister and my cousin's son went camping at Catalina Island for the weekend to enjoy hiking the trails above the terrains full of bison and to snorkel the warm waters full of colorful garibaldis under the sea. It was a beautiful time and a memory I return to every now and then. In hindsight,I realize now that it was also a magical and treasured time when there were no worries of career, money, marriage, children...my life revolved solely around learning and exploring the world around me. While we were returning to our campsite after dinner at Avalon and walking the paved road full of small golf carts that families rented to get around the island, we saw a lovely looking family of four, a mother, father and two happy, giggly boys in the back. The two boys about the age of 10 or 11 saw the three of us walking and yelled out "ha ha look! Ching Chong China man!" and proceeded to stretch out their eyes to make them look smaller and slanty and drove off around the curb laughing like hyenas. The parents heard their sons but said or did nothing as if it their behavior was all OK. I wonder if they had yelled out "ha ha look at the niggers!" it would still be OK...
Yet in another instance, while in one clinical rotation in nursing school, a caucasian classmate asked me, "So..why are you here?" Not like why am I in nursing school or in the program or that particular room... She meant to ask why I was living in the United States because obviously I am not "American"by my looks and the sound of my name - never mind I am a US citizen and have been here most of my life and consider this my home and country. She made me feel as if I needed to give an explanation and rationale for my being. Is it OK to ask a white American the same question?
After 3 years of working as a legal secretary at a workers compensation law firm, I was fired for having "poor English skills". It didn't matter that I took dictations for over 20,000 correspondences that were mailed out to clients. Forget the fact that English is my primary language. Someone did not like me and wanted me fired but using my "poor English" as an excuse was the last reasoning I thought they would use against me.
African Americans were outraged this year because the Oscars had no black nominees. They brought up the issue of discrimination of blacks in Hollywood and some even boycotted the ceremony. Chris Rock, an African American who hosted the show, lamented the injustice throughout the show but yet saw no issue of using racial stereotypes about Asian Americans. Here is an article about the uproar. Here
There are many instances of derogatory words or gestures about being Asian I have encountered throughout my life living in the States for over 35 years and it was hurled from all kinds of people from whites, blacks, hispanics and other races (!) and these experiences have made me a bit less trusting and willing to get close to people. These uncomfortable incidents have become less as an adult but having experienced these in the formative years of childhood definitely imprints an impression on the mind and soul about how to interpret the world and people around you and it is hard to reinterpret it another way as an adult. My conclusion was that everyone is a little racist in one way or another.
On one facebook post, a Dup15q mom shared the discomfort she felt at a mall as passerbys stared and whispered under hushed breaths about her developmentally delayed daughter in a over-sized stroller for disabled children. She felt they were judging her and her daughter and putting her down. In a comment, another mom of a child with a disability in a similar situation shared how people passing by yelled out to her and her son that he needs to grow up and shouldn't be in a stroller at such an age. The boy, upon hearing the remarks, started to cry. It is heartbreaking to hear such incidents. I am more worried about the treatment L will receive from adults in his life than by the behavior of children around him. Age is just a number and there are so many immature and "developmentally delayed" adults who lack a sense of morality, compassion or empathy. This "developmental disability" is truly more unfortunate than what L will ever have!!
Racism however dressed in different forms is something I've just grown accustomed to and even have come to accept over the years. There is just so much I can fight and I've had to learn to choose my battles. I've reasoned that it comes with the territory of living in a diverse society and brushed things aside as ignorance and stupidity. My hope was that people will learn someday and become better in the future. Is it OK for me to have such a complacent attitude when insults are hurled at L for his disability??? How will I react? One day, I know a situation will present itself. Should the day come, I hope I don't go crazy and land myself in jail.
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