An Old Broken Crockpot, An Old Wooden Spoon.

I have an old crock pot that has moved 3 times in the last 18 years with me. The timer is broken and there is only one temperature setting for all 4,6 and 8 hour settings.  It should have been tossed a long time ago but I just can't bear to part with it and I still use it occasionally even though the food sometimes comes out overcooked and I have to keep a vigilant eye on the food. It feels like an old friend and every time I bring it out I find myself spacing off to memories of meals shared with friends, coworkers and family of long ago.  I can still smell the delicious aroma in the house when a stew, roast or ribs marinated for hours on end and it's such a comforting feeling to go back to when I am feeling down. Not many friendships have lasted as long as my relationship with this crockpot. How sad is that? People come and go in our lives and they stay for a season for our soul's growth then depart and I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned from them and knowledge gained.  For some, I am grateful that their negative presence is no longer tormenting me but even so, my life is richer, my knowledge deeper and I am stronger because (in spite of?) them.

I also have an old beaten up wooden spoon I've used to stir countless sauces on the stovetop and every time I see it in the kitchen counter, I feel at home and happy and even feel loved! Is it sad to say that some of my lasting "relationships" are with inanimate objects and my cat of almost 15 years?  So many people have come and gone in my life including deaths, siblings who are estranged,  "friends" from school long lost.  In hindsight though, I don't think I really ever had very deep relationships with people and maybe it says a lot about my personality and my independent streak.  I've always felt so different from everyone around me and didn't feel as if I could trust them.  Maybe, I just have deep seated trust issues.  I've heard also on the news somewhere that it is almost impossible to make deep friendships after the age of 40.  It does feel a bit lonely at times and it seems harder to make friends as I get older and busier.  Also, I get so set in my ways and not as open as when I was younger. Who would also be able to understand and commiserate with me in my special life with Lucas?