On May 19, 2015, little Luki turned 4 years old. How did that happen? I made a slideshow of pictures from the previous year and can see how he has grown taller and more "alert". As each day goes by, it feels as if he is slowly waking up as if from a deep dream and he gains more awareness of his surroundings. We notice it in newborns as they explore their surroundings and within a year their consciousness seems already established. Lucas just seems to be taking his sweet time in getting to that place. He is quite the climber and runner now and I can almost predict some accident is bound to happen in year four. Better to watch him like a hawk now. He is a lot of work and worry but I see also how much joy he has brought into my life. As I blew out the birthday candles, I wished for him to gain speech this year. Even just one word... mommy would be nice but so would loveyou. OK that's two words.
This year, we debated about whether to throw a birthday party or go to Disneyland for a day. It is too expensive to do both and we decided to throw a party and invited all our Journeys families with their special needs children and their siblings to Lemontree Kids Cafe in LA. We decided to defer Disneyland to maybe next year and told Gabe's brother about our plans. As a birthday present, Mike sent us a Disneyland gift card to cover 3 admission tickets. I just about cried when it arrived in the mail and feel so grateful for his generosity and knowing Lucas has a wonderful uncle on his side. Wish he lived nearer to us so that Lucas can spend more time with him and his cousins.
We had a great time at the party and Disneyland. Lemontree used to be Luki's hangout whenever we were out in LA and we used to eat lunch and play there after our clinical trials at UCLA with Dr. Jeste just so that we can wait out the traffic hell back home. So we didn't have to worry about meltdowns and anxieties in new, crowded and noisy places. Lucas also did great at Disneyland with no meltdowns, Last time we went, he napped for two hours and we rode very few rides. This time, we got on most of the rides in Fantasy Land. He loved It's a Small World and so did Gabe. Gabe wanted to ride it twice, lol. No way was I going to get that song stuck in my head for a week. Besides, the lines were getting too long. Lucas did fall asleep in the submarine ride, but he slept for only 45 minutes - a good amount of time for Gabe and I to have a snack. This time, we packed snacks (yogurt, fruits, crackers) to save money as advised by our ABA therapist who goes often with her son with a season pass. Gabe initially did not want me to take food, maybe because he would feel embarrassed if they confiscated it at check in. But, I think he was grateful I brought them. I did order the fried chicken at one of the restaurants near Main Street and wow, fried chicken never taste as good as when you are mad starving! Quite a memorable meal, more so than the $100 lunch we had at Blue Bayou last time we were at Disneyland. The highlight of Disneyland was when Luki gave Goofy a kiss on the nose with no prompting from me. He gets it!
Late at night, as Luki and Gabe are fast asleep upstairs, I watch the above videos and get a warm feeling within and get teary eyed, too. Life can be beautiful even if it's not perfect but only if you make it so.
If you make it so, the reward is beautiful
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