Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Before the eve of 2014



Is it just me or does time fly so much faster as one ages.  How I remember the days of my youth when time seemed so long and dragging.  Now, seems I blink an eye and another year has passed by.  It flies faster too when I am so busy tending to Luki's many therapies and school.  My life in 2013 revolved around Lucas and I wonder what I had been doing before he came along.  Before an energetic 2 year old boy entered our household, decorating for Christmas yielded a nice, manicured living room.  This year, I've noticed that among all his toys and books,  all the decorations just look like clutter. It may be like this for a while and I wonder if I should even bother to decorate and put up the lights next year.  We went to Stat's in Pasadena and purchased some new decorations that hopefully won't make the place look to cluttered.  We shall see what happens next year...

Looking back on 2013, it was an exhausting yet adventurous year for me.  I have been introduced to so many modalities of autism therapy, attended a science seminar at UCI, accompanied Lucas in his mommy and me classes 3 times a week, had a miscarriage at 8 weeks of pregnancy and still managed to work 4 straight 12 hour graveyard shift every other Friday through Monday.  And, I did not get sick once-not even a cold!  Lucas has definitely kept me on my toes and I so relish every single minute with him.  Even when he fusses (usually when he is tired or he wants to play with water), he is just so darn cute that I can't help but smile. He must be furious to see me smile while he is in agony!  Once I start thinking about the future, I get very afraid and anxious and I try not to think too much beyond today, or the moment I have him now.  My favorite time of the day is when I put him to nap and instead of putting him down in his playpen, I  hold him in my arms and just look into his peaceful sleeping face and kiss his cheeks and tiny little lips and nose.  He truly is gorgeous in every way and I still question God, "Is he truly mine?"  It feels as if time stands still or doesn't even exist at that moment and I am so at peace with him and love being his mom. 

For Christmas, Lucas got a water table from me.  Now, his favorite thing in the world (water) has become more accessible and he doesn't have to cry so much when the faucet is turned off after washing his hands.  Gabriel bought him his first tricycle (radio flyer).  Velcro needs to be used for his foot to pedal as he still doesn't get the concept of riding.  In time, I think this will come to him just as so many other milestones were reached this year.  Today, I witnessed him standing up from a squatting position without holding onto anything!  Gabe said he noticed this a week ago.  Still wobbly on the walking but my how he has picked up speed!  Today, as I went to throw away his soiled diaper and wash my hands,  he walked (ran) for the stairs leading to the garage and fell the whole flight of stairs before I could get to him.   It was such a traumatic experience for me and I am glad he was not hurt in any way - just a small bruise on his forehead. We have hence put up a gate. Hopefully, he will remember this event and not dare to go near those stairs again! He also fell off his crib once but still tries to climb out.  Here he is in action at the mall:


During the holiday, I saw a painting by a Swedish artist from 1515 depicting the nativity scene with a child and man who seem to show the characteristic features of Down Syndrome.  I thought how wonderful it was that even back in 1515, people recognized these special people to be perhaps closer to the angelic realm that human.  I wonder if it is true that people with cognitive disabilities indeed have more advanced souls than the average person.  Here is the link to the painting. 

http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/search-the-collections/436781


On that peaceful holy scene, I sign off for this year and work on some mojos to bring luck, prosperity and joy for 2014!

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