Our 5 Year wedding Anniversary Lunch Date Disaster.

Today, Gabriel and I celebrate 5 years of happy matrimony.  We thought we'd take some time out for ourselves so Gabriel took the day off from work and made reservations at the fancy steakhouse in downtown, Pacific Dining Car.  While Luki was at school for three hours, we would escape to have a wonderful lunch, reconnect and have some one-on-one time then pick up Luki at school around 2PM before heading home.  At least, that was our original plan. What actually took place is something quite different but not so out-of-our ordinary crazy routine.  

So this is what went down.

I awoke around 8:00AM to sounds of Luki's stuffed up nose- he has caught another bug at school and slept poorly.  I awoke a few times in the middle of the night to spray saline up his nose and apply vick's gel around his nose and neck with him kicking and screaming. I'm not sure if my interventions helped much as he kept kicking my back and rolling around all night.  Gabe told me to sleep in this morning and he would take care of breakfast for Lucas and work with the ABA therapist when she arrived to make up a session.  Thank the Lord for Gabriel!  I was able to sleep more and even got to take a shower and do my hair and make-up - a rarity when I am alone with Luki; ususally, I try to sneak in a shower when he is at school.  Most mornings, we have therapy at 8:00 or 8:30 and we start off with feeding skills so I have no time for myself.  Today, the therapist was a no show with no text or a call to let me know why. This has never happened.  I left a message with the schedulee to see what happened but never got a return call.  Whatever.  Today, we celebrate and I'm kind of glad she didn't show up.  More on our therapy progess on another blog.

So, I put on the dress I wore to our engagement shoot at the Disney Concert Hall 5 years ago and was glad it still fits me, although a bit tighter and shorter now!  After our engagement shoot, we went to have dinner at the same restaurant and thought it would be nice to kind of recreate the scenario and see how much we have changed over the years.  Today was the first time I wore the dress in 5 years and once I put in on I got a faint whiff of the perfume I used to wear back then and it automatically brought so many memories from the past.  It was a lovely feeling.

We buckled Luki in the car seat and headed to school.  Once we arrived, we found him sound asleep.  Oh well, I guess no school for today.  We would need to head back home and wait for him to wake up then take him with us to our lunch date. We changed the reservation time to an hour later and around noon, we headed to the restaurant.  Luki was calm and quiet in his car seat and I prayed he would be so during our meal.  But, it was another story once we sat at our table.  He was whiney and fussy at first, then went into his full blown ugly, loud cry.  He refused to sit on his booster chair and was clinging to me for dear life.  The people near our table were watching us and a bit annoyed.

 Crap, I sort of expected this to happen.  He isn't feeling well and he wants more sleep.  So, although we ordered a lovely meal, we took turns taking him outside and as usual, one of us eats a cold meal.  Luki was fine when outside but immediately as we entered the restaurant, he started crying.  Gabriel took him out first so that I can eat the restaurant's famous "baseball steak", baked potatoes and grilled asparagus.  We had planned to share a coffee and chocolate cake after our meal but fat chance that was going to happen now.  I had to stuff my face quickly so that I can relieve Gabriel for his turn to eat.  I heard of another mom who experienced a similar situation which made her silently cry alone at her table while her husband was outside placating their intellectually disabled son.  All I felt was furious anger and all I really wanted was a punching bag at that point.  We took some fish and scallops Gabriel ordered with the baked potatoes in a to-go box and I fed Luki outside the parking lot under a tree on the side walk while Gabriel finished his meal alone.  Luki seemed happy, ate most of his food and was smiling and laughing.  It's strange how all that anger just dissipates when I see Luki so happy.  That is all I really want for him.

So, yet again, another crazy, unpredictable day in my "special" life.  Happy 5th Anniversary to us!

And Just Like that, I have a Four Year Old.

On May 19, 2015, little Luki turned 4 years old.  How did that happen? I made a slideshow of pictures from the previous year and can see how he has grown taller and more "alert".  As each day goes by, it feels as if he is slowly waking up as if from a deep dream and he gains more awareness of his surroundings. We notice it in newborns as they explore their surroundings and within a year their consciousness seems already established.  Lucas just seems to be taking his sweet time in getting to that place.  He is quite the climber and runner now and I can almost predict some accident is bound to happen in year four.  Better to watch him like a hawk now.  He is a lot of work and worry but I see also how much joy he has brought into my life.  As I blew out the birthday candles, I wished for him to gain speech this year.  Even just one word... mommy would be nice but so would loveyou. OK that's two words.  

This year, we debated about whether to throw a birthday party or go to Disneyland for a day.  It is too expensive to do both and we decided to throw a party and invited all our Journeys families with their special needs children and their siblings to Lemontree Kids Cafe in LA.  We decided to defer Disneyland to maybe next year and told Gabe's brother about our plans.  As a birthday present, Mike sent us a Disneyland gift card to cover 3 admission tickets.  I just about cried when it arrived in the mail and feel so grateful for his generosity and knowing Lucas has a wonderful uncle on his side.  Wish he lived nearer to us so that Lucas can spend more time with him and his cousins.

We had a great time at the party and Disneyland.  Lemontree used to be Luki's hangout whenever we were out in LA and we used to eat lunch and play there after our clinical trials at UCLA with Dr. Jeste just so that we can wait out the traffic hell back home.  So we didn't have to worry about meltdowns and anxieties in new, crowded and noisy places. Lucas also did great at Disneyland with no meltdowns,  Last time we went, he napped for two hours and we rode very few rides.  This time, we got on most of the rides in Fantasy Land.  He loved It's a Small World and so did Gabe.  Gabe wanted to ride it twice, lol.  No way was I going to get that song stuck in my head for a week.  Besides, the lines were getting too long.  Lucas did fall asleep in the submarine ride, but he slept for only 45 minutes - a good amount of time for Gabe and I to have a snack.  This time, we packed snacks (yogurt, fruits, crackers) to save money as advised by our ABA therapist who goes often with her son with a season pass.  Gabe initially did not want me to take food, maybe because he would feel embarrassed if they confiscated it at check in.  But, I think he was grateful I brought them.  I did order the fried chicken at one of the restaurants near Main Street and wow, fried chicken never taste as good as when you are mad starving! Quite a memorable meal, more so than the $100 lunch we had at Blue Bayou last time we were at Disneyland.  The highlight of Disneyland was when Luki gave Goofy a kiss on the nose with no prompting from me. He gets it!  

Late at night, as Luki and Gabe are fast asleep upstairs, I watch the above videos and get a warm feeling within and get teary eyed, too.  Life can be beautiful even if it's not perfect but only if you make it so. 

 If you make it so, the reward is beautiful