My Special Life
A Journal of Living With a Child Who Has Dup15q Syndrome
Friday, October 11, 2024
It's Dinnertime at the Ahn Household.
Friday, October 4, 2024
Special Needs Parenting and the Korean Drama, "Move to Heaven"
There is a joke among special needs parents that goes something like this, " I haven't slept in decades due to my child's insomina/seizures, etc... so I will sleep once I am dead". Of course, the initial thought that runs through the mind of a parent of a special needs child after getting a diagnosis is, "I can never die!" You develop a weirdly dark sense of humor while living through this journey, but it helps to keep me sane if not entertained...or does it?.
I just binged on what I consider to be one of, if not, the best Korean drama series on Netflix I've ever watched called Move to Heaven. The plot centers around an adopted autistic young man who was raised by a single father and make a livelihood through the family "trauma cleaning" business. The mission of this business is to clean out the homes of people who died alone and whose bodies were discovered days or weeks later. One day, the father dies unexpectedly from a heart attack leaving the young man alone in this world until a long lost "uncle" recently released from jail is assigned a trial guardianship for three months. The remainder of the plot revolves around the two characters as they learn about life and death, love and loss as they gather precious mementos from their deceased clients. There won't be any spoilers from me here. It is so profound and beautiful that any commentary on it here would do it no justice. I don't really watch many Korean dramas but series like this is why the whole world is addicted to Korean Dramas. You have to watch this. The acting, the creative story line, the emotions that are conjured up from grief, inspiration, happiness, wisdom... it can all be very sad yet very healing to watch at the same time. I was initially drawn to the series as a mother of a child with cognitive delays and autism as one of its main characters has autism and I cried and cried on many episodes about his sudden predicament, but I came away with so much more. It's as if my heart exploded a little with each episode.
Plus, I found my first "oppa" actor who blew me away, Lee Je Hoon, and I am such a fan!!!
Monday, September 23, 2024
Begpackers, Travel Vloggers and the Journey to Self Awareness
Ulsan, S.Korea |
There is a recent controversial trend among young, middle-class youth in the West who travel around the world, particularly in Southeast Asia without any money but sell trinkets such as bracelets and postcards or beg for their travel expenses from the local people of the countries they visit. Many denounce this practice as being irresponsible and unfair as they take away revenue from local people who make a living by selling similar goods to travelers. There are others who post travel vlogs on Youtube and solicit donations for food and lodging from their viewers in exchange for sharing their travel experience. One such vlogger I came across by the name of Nick K bicycles his way around Asia and asks for monetary donations or a "hot shower host" for when he needs a place to crash or wash up. Apparently, this practice is very common among cyclists who journey far distances. After teaching English for 11 years in Japan, Nick has cycled his way all over Japan, Indonesia and Taiwan and has cycled from Pusan to Seoul, South Korea. His adventure was noticed by the Korean news medias and he has become somewhat of a celebrity, so much so, that he went viral with over 1.7 million views and people recognize him on the roads and offer him drinks and snacks. His videos are such a sensation, he decided to travel from Seoul back to Pusan using an alternate route. Although it seemed a bit strange to be asking his viewers to fund his journey, I actually really enjoyed his videos so much that I donated a small amount to cover "a cup of coffee" in gratitude for the positive message about humanity.
What I really love about his videos is his genuine openness and appreciation of the places he visits and the people he meets and how local people reciprocate with kindness and curiosity. I have only watched vlogs from his Korea travel, but I always come away feeling warm inside knowing that there are so many good, kind, decent and hospitalable people in the world (well, at least in Korea). Every day he encounters simple acts of kindness like a passing car handing him a can of coke, or an innkeeper sharing a slice of cold watermelon on a hot and muggy August night in Korea, then with care, placing it on a stick so it would be easier for him to hold. Other encounters include a local family giving him a free place to sleep or "hot shower hosts" letting him stay at their place for free, an elderly couple sharing their mung bean pancakes on the side of the road and other hosts taking him out for amazing dinners, notably the Kbbq experience. I watch every episode with my mouth wide open at how good and kind people can be and it is so refreshing to see something so good about humanity in contrast to what I see daily on the evening news. I'm not sure how safe it is to travel solo across America given the higher rate of crime, distrust of others created by the current political climate but if one is plugged into that subculture, I'm sure goodness can be found here, too. Nick had a "hot shower host" in Daegu who cycled solo across America. I would love to see his videos, but I don't think he made any but there is a lady who cycled over 80 countries by herself (click for link ). I donated a small amount to show my gratitude to Nick sharing such a positive experience and it gives me hope for humanity, especially right now when everything seems so off kilter and plain nuts.
Inspired by a recent Mel Robbins podcast when she asked a man who hiked solo across the Appalachian Rockies, "what did you learn about yourself from your journey" I asked Nick what he learned about himself and life from his travel. I guess the question took him off guard because he laughed and maybe felt a bit self-conscious but he answered that he learned that humanity on the whole is really very good, kind and generous. Now, if you haven't experienced or learned anything while on this Earth, isn't that the one thing to be proud to take back to God when you die instead of reporting how evil and wretched humanity is? The guest on Mel Robbins show answered her that "you take your baggage with you". Like the saying, "wherever you go, there you are", it's better to face up to your shit and deal with them as best possible, instead of trying to run away from them.
During my senior year of college, as a foreign exchange student at the University of York, England, I attempted the "Coast to Coast" solo cross-country walk starting from the Irish Sea to the North Sea. I only made it out of the Lake District, which was probably the best part. The thing I learned that most sticks out in my mind and has shaped much of my life after the walk, is the importance of family and community. Walking for days alone in a foreign land with no sense of familiarity to anything, it became very clear to me the true importance of meaningful connections with people, friends, family and even strangers.
I am fortunate enough now that I can travel with some comfort with my husband and two boys but traveling while young, on a very limited budget, allows to you see and experience things you wouldn't otherwise be able to in comfort.
Thursday, July 25, 2024
Korea Trip Log Summer 2024: Ahn Family Adventure Series
Seoul bound! Heading first to LAX then Inchon airport and to our air BNB Artmonstay at Myeongdong for check in! We will be losing a day from the time difference but hopefully the boys will not be too jet lagged. Dinner at the historic Mah Jang meat market for Hanwoo beef, Similar to Kobe or Wagyu beef. We purchase our meat from the market and take it to the various restaurants upstairs who will give you a table with a charcoal grill, side dishes and a selection of beer or soju. Liam said it was the juiciest meat ever.
We made it to Ulsan, a port city, and are staying at an air BNB above the Mercure hotel on the 30th floor. The apartment and views are amazing and has easy access to the pebble beach below! It also has a room with an adjustable bed and bedside table perfect for my mother. One thing about Korea I noticed is that everyone is so deferential and thoughtful to the elderly.
Friday, May 10, 2024
First Grade Memories
First Grade field trip to La Habra Children's Museum. The whole school also went to see the production of Music Man by the junior high students of the La Mirada campus.
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
15 years of Service
I love this story about Margaret Mead.
Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The Student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones. But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broke femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said, "We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.
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15 years of service as an RN and what an incredible ride the last 5 years has been! I will never forget the patient with COVID on maximum BIPAP on the verge of death because there was no ventilator available for her and deciding to prone her heavy body (despite my colleagues' insistence that it was futile) just long enough for her husband to be by her bedside for their last goodbye. I will never forget the suicidal patient who, while strapped down by 6 security guards onto the bed, cried out that this world was not worth living because there was no love for him in it and lovingly telling him, while holding his hand tightly, that I loved him and that he deserves a second chance in life. I will never forget how he whispered the most sincere thank you to me as the tears flowed down his face. I will never forget the grief-stricken roomful of family mourning the death of their loved one in the middle of the night who could not leave the hospital without a proper prayer by a clergy and with no chaplain available, leading a prayer of safe and peaceful transition for the dead amidst hushed sob as we held hands and encircled the deathbed. It has truly been a privilege and a heavy responsibility, and I pray God sees my sincere heart in doing good with the gifts and talents He has given.